man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
