So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
