i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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