do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
