Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
