i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
