Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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