Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
