Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you guys were way drunker than both of me
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
