She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
