i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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