i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
