so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
