pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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