I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
