I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So much Jack, so little girl.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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