im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
