Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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