Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
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i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
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Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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