Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
