How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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