this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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