I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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