We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
