At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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