I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
