I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
