Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
