There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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