never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I think I have vodka in my lungs
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
me + whiskey = a bad person
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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