Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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