Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
