K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
