My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
