Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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