I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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