I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
