just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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