Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just googled if crying burns calories
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize