she looked like the bat from fern gully.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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