I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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