in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
