I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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