tell your sister to shave her snatch
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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