After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
