I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
so let's talk penis.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
