3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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