Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Is it because I queefed?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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