I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just found puke in my bra..
My ATM looks so different sober.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
