So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We just shotgunned beers for America
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
