i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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