Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Vodka?
Forever.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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