My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
