forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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