Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
