those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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