I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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