Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize