So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
