i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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