If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
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